More Lego Fun

Because those of us who watched Star Wars as kids now have kids of our own...

The Dark Side of the Vachon Cake - The Passion Flakie

I don't want to give you the impression that Vachon cakes were all good news.

I have no idea how widespread this was, or if it was only ever something that happened in Newfoundland Junior High Schools. However, when I was growing up, it was a very foolish thing to show up in school if people knew it was your birthday that day. The ever-present threat was that someone was going to 'Flakie' you -- in other words, smoosh the [questionably] popular Flakie cake into your face. If they were at all cruel, they'd separate the cake into two halves, so they could surprise you with creamy flaky goodness, and then get you with the second half once you'd recovered and wiped the gunk from your eyes.

There was very little point in trying to resist this rite of passage. If someone had gotten it into their head to Flakie you, you were going to get Flakied. If you tried to run, someone would catch you and hold your arms behind your back while justice was served. At least in our school, the teachers had realized that there was no way to stop birthday Flakie-ings from happening. The most that they could enforce was a limit of one Flakie per birthday.

And honestly, that stuff was awful! In theory, the flaky pastry was tolerable, but I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was inside it. Some kind of creme filling, which I guess was the same stuff as in the rest of the Vachon cakes, but to me it always tasted chemically and artificial. There was white stuff in there, and there was pink stuff in there. Subsequent research tells me that the pink was apple/raspberry flavoured, but you could have fooled me. Being hit with a Flakie was not only embarrassing, it was disgusting. I think that I only ever knew three people who actually ate the things, without doing so ironically. (And that's just a guess -- I couldn't tell you who those three people were, but there couldn't have been more than that...)

And then in 2000, a protester hit the Canadian Prime Minister in the face with a pie. I guess he'd been Flakied once too often as a kid. Do you see why we should have cracked down on this sooner?

The Glory of the Vachon Cake Part 2 - The Half Moon

There are a couple of things to point out about the Half Moon.

The Vachon website says that it's intended for those who "crave the delicious taste of moist vanilla cake and creamy filling without the chocolate coating." In other words, for those who like the idea of a May West, but want to pretend they're eating something that won't go straight to their hips.

Vachon makes two kinds of Half Moons: the vanilla kind (like the aforementioned May West without chocolate) and the chocolate kind (like an uncoated Jos. Louis). Let the record show that the only one worth getting in your lunchbox is the white kind. Any further discussion of the issue serves no purpose whatsoever.

The other thing to point out is this. This is where the advantage of growing up in Canada lies. Because all our foods are labelled in both official languages, English and French, there is a certain amount of of French that every English-speaking Canadian child has learned from labels. "Candy", "Cookies", "Peanut Butter", "Bonus", and from cereal boxes "Free Prize Inside".

There is a downside to that, however. A friend of my brother's, after many trips to get candy at a local store called "Parkdale Pharmacy", decided that "Pharmacy" must be French for "Parkdale". And of course, the popular misconception that works the other way. Constantly seeing boxes advertising "1/2 Lune Moons," generations of Canadians grew up referring to the tasty treats by a hybrid French/English name: Lune Moons. O Canada.

Scary Train Rides Again

Every so often, the Scary Train comes out at our house. If you didn't see the original post, let me show you what the commercials promised this thing would sound like:



And here's what ours sounds like:



Just to see the reaction, we took out Scary Train this morning and tried it out. My daughter was not as impressed as the kids in the video. The last time, when I recorded the Scary Train video clips, she was content to sit and play in the other room. Her reaction this time? 'No! No! No! Don't like it!'

Looks like it's going back on the shelf for a while...

The Glory of the Vachon Cake Part 1 - The Jos Louis

Back in the day, school lunches were pretty simple. In those days, no one was allergic to anything. Or, if they were, their parents told them not to trade their lunches for something they were allergic to. As far as I ever knew, no foods were banned from the school because of someone else's allergies. So most school lunches consisted of peanut butter sandwiches. There may have been other sandwich fillings on the go, but for at least the first nine years of school, I had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch for at least four out of five days. You could count on it. Most other people had the exact same sandwich. Only difference might be whether they had crusts and/or jam with theirs.

The variety came with the lunch additions. You looked to compare juice boxes. If you were lucky, you got a fancy-pants milkshake drink box. If you were really lucky, you got one of those candy bar milkshakes in a little plastic bottle. (Yogurt drinks are something for another discussion). You also had some kind of a recess snack. Various fruit snacks, fruit roll-ups and the like, or granola bars, which may or may not have ben covered in chocolate.

The real glory, though, was what you got for dessert. And the Vachon Cakes were among the best of the best. As a note for Americans and other aliens: Vachon Cakes are more or less equivalent to Twinkies or Ding Dongs or whatever those other disgusting-but-oh-so-tasty treats are. You know what I'm talking about: individually wrapped cakes with a lot of sugar and sticky sweet cream. Or perhaps it was creme.

The jewel of the Vachon crown was the Jos. Louis. At one point in university, a friend commented on how he hadn't had a Jos. Louis in years, and just the memory of it compelled me to go out and buy a box of them right then and there. Jos. Louis was two round chocoalte cakes, with creamy sweet white filling sandwiched between. Then the whole business was coated in chocolate. Very good eats.

The approved way to eat your Jos. Louis was thus: carefully work at splitting the two cake layers apart, as if you were splitting an Oreo. This took plenty more skill and patience, because unlike a hard cookie, the cake was likely to split and tear, leaving half the upper cake still stuck to your cream. In an ideal world, the two would come neatly apart, and you got to lick the cream off the bottom. If you had any sense, you'd eat the top half next. There's more chocolate on the bottom, and for some reason it tasted different. Eating the top half was a bit of an anti-climax after the bottom. I'm really not sure why.

From time to time, my parents would branch out and get us the other, very similar Vachon Cake: the May West. So far as I can tell, and as far as Wikipedia and the Vachon homepage can tell me, they were exactly the same, except that a May West has white cake instead of the chocolate cake of a Jos. Louis. I'm not sure, though. I think there was a different flavour to the filling, but I'd be hard put to tell you exactly how it tasted different. Does anyone else remember them?

And here's one last thing that I've noticed about the Jos. Louis. When I was nearing the end of my school days, they came out with a thing called the '1/2 Jos. Louis', which was half the size, but still covered in chocolate (not to be confused with the 1/2 (or Lune) Moon. Interestingly enough, today you can buy a box of six Jos. Louis for $3.39, or a box of 10 1/2 Jos. Louis for exactly the same $3.39! So you get much more snack for your buck buying the real thing, but if you go the 1/2 size, you get more of them, and you get to be a cheapskate while packing your kid's lunch. Why not make him share his juice box with his little brother while you're at it?!

The Onion: Michael Bay set to ruin 'Thundercats'

I'm a fan of The Onion, even though a lot of the time, the headlines are better than the full stories. This morning, though, I enjoyed two particularly funny stories. One was about the suppressed homoerotic urges of an NRA Annual Meeting. The other one tied in with an ongoing rant of mine that occasionally surfaces on Raised in the 80s.

Michael Bay Signs $50M Deal to F**k Up 'ThunderCats'

"I couldn't be more excited to completely f**k this up," said Bay, who plans to begin production on destroying the live-action adaptation next month. "ThunderCats has a great story, endearing characters, action, adventure, space-travel, and fantasy. It will be an honor to run it into the ground."

Hollywood insiders agreed that Bay—who has reportedly been closely involved in each of the 45 progressively worse rewrites of the script—was a natural choice to take a steaming dump on the popular ThunderCats property.

"Michael Bay has this innate sense of how to ruin a great story," Variety reporter Todd Brick said. "His ability to create astonishing plot holes, pepper dialogue with groan-inducing clichés, and abandon storylines halfway through is unparalleled. He was born to destroy this movie."

I just can't see why people can't leave the 80s alone! In fairness, this is satire, although there are plans to release a CGI feature-length version of ThunderCats next year. But maybe that's it--the best satire is what hits closest to home. Every time I hear that they're going to remake something out of my childhood, this is the kind of visceral reaction of pure dread that I have. It didn't even need to be a good show or movie: what mattered is that it was mine!

Next up: The Jonas Brothers set to star in '3n Wolf' (pronounced Threen Wolf') the third instalment in a decent premise increasingly ruined in the 80s, now slated to be completely wrecked in the 21st-century remake.

Muppets on Beta!

My parents were clearing out their basement, and finally decided to get rid of their old Betamax player. Do you remember Beta? Although it lost the market to VHS, it was actually a technically superior machine, with better recording and playback. If I remember correctly, the biggest trouble was that the faster tape speed meant that you couldn't record nearly as much on a single cassette tape. So even if it was better quality, people weren't as excited about it.
But not only did my parents' antiquated Beta VCR still work (after cleaning and drying out) but there were a few tapes still kicking around, including this one, with some favourite moments from the Muppet Show. Enjoy.

You probably remember all those clips, but here's something serious. Were you one of those folks whose parents got onto the wrong bandwagon when the time came to buy a VCR? Actually, to tell the truth, I'm not really sure which VCR was the wrong choice. Yes, in the course of time, VHS really did crush the Beta opposition, but who's buying VHS now? Way back in the day, Betamaxes actually had better video and audio quality. They just got beat out commercially by a better-marketed product that was all right, but technically inferior. Kind of like the way that HD-DVD was buried by Blu-Ray. Only thing is, with a bit of digging around, you might still find an HD-DVD player, while your Beta tapes are just going to moulder away in the basement. Or are they? This would have been a great way to recover those lost 80s TV shows that you taped, if only HD-DVD had survived...


Sorry to follow up on the Betamax line of thought even further. In a particularly candid moment, US president Barack Obama drew parallels between current economic woes and the 1980s mentality that led to the VHS ascendancy. Obama pointed out that 'sometimes, the answer isn't always "Bigger is better" [referring to the larger VHS tape format]. The only way to be sure is to weigh all the alternatives.'

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Long Sought-after Sesame Street clips

These were two of my favourite Sesame Street bits when I was a kid. It's not necessarily because they were the best, or the funniest, but because I only ever got to see them two or three times when I was little. In fact, I'm sure that part of the reason I watched Sesame Street as long as I did was because of the hope of seeing these again. Of course, now with YouTube, you can see just about anything you'd ever want to see from your childhood, but in case you haven't thought to look these up yet, here they are! Do you remember them? Does this make you as excited as it does me?

Extended Pinball Routine

The pinball routine was one of my favourite bits of Sesame Street. It's got a great little song, and when I was really little, I had no idea what pinball was, only just that there were some pretty funny bits on Sesame Street with a shiny ball. And while the pinball segments were great, I always kept watching for this one. Normally, the first three bits were always the same, and there was one distinct segment for the number of the day, with a zoo theme, or American landmarks, or whatever. But sometimes you'd get the extended play, when it would just keep going. Rather than rolling off into the distance as the blimp sailed by at the bottom of the screen, the pinball would drop into another distinctive segment. This was nothing short of awesome! I know that as a kid, I remembered that the witch's cave featured in this one, but I couldn't quite figure why the action didn't continue every time the ball went into the witches cave.

Jazzy Spies #8

The first time I saw this, I was blown away! Ernie and Bert had been watching the same thing I was! Years later, I never remembered that it was the I 8 the sandbox routine that followed up on this, so every time the 'Jazzy Spies' came on, I'd sit up excitedly, hoping to catch Bert and Ernie watching at the end. Technically, the name for these segments are 'Jazz 8' (or 9 or 10 or whatever) but they're popularly known as 'Jazzy Spies' because of the secret-agent guys at the end. And yes, that is Jefferson Airplane's Grace Slick singing!

The Envelope Please... (Best Film)

And here are your winners!

1980 Winner: Ordinary People
1981 Winner: Chariots of Fire
1982 Winner: Gandhi
1983 Winner: Terms of Endearment
1984 Winner: Amadeus
1985 Winner: Out of Africa
1986 Winner: Platoon
1987 Winner: The Last Emperor
1988 Winner: Rain Man
1989 Winner: Driving Miss Daisy

And for a special Oscar Week treat, a montage of all your 80s Best Pictures:

Final Oscar Week Roundup: Best Picture

What do you know about these films? What do you remember? The following films were nominated for Best Supporting Actress in the 1980s. Can you remember who actually won?
Check back first thing tomorrow morning for the winners.

1980 Nominees:

• Coal Miner's Daughter
• The Elephant Man
• Ordinary People
• Raging Bull
• Tess

1981 Nominees:

• Atlantic City
• Chariots of Fire
• On Golden Pond
• Raiders of the Lost Ark
• Reds

1982 Nominees:

• E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
• Gandhi
• Missing
• Tootsie
• The Verdict

1983 Nominees:

• The Big Chill
• The Dresser
• The Right Stuff
• Tender Mercies
• Terms of Endearment

1984 Nominees:

• Amadeus
• The Killing Fields
• A Passage to India
• Places in the Heart
• A Soldier's Story

1985 Nominees:

• The Color Purple
• Kiss of the Spider Woman
• Out of Africa
• Prizzi's Honor
• Witness

1986 Nominees:

• Children of a Lesser God
• Hannah and Her Sisters
• The Mission
• Platoon
• A Room with a View

1987 Nominees:

• Broadcast News
• Fatal Attraction
• Hope and Glory
• The Last Emperor
• Moonstruck

1988 Nominees:

• The Accidental Tourist
• Dangerous Liaisons
• Mississippi Burning
• Rain Man
• Working Girl

1989 Nominees:

• Born on the Fourth of July
• Dead Poets Society
• Driving Miss Daisy
• Field of Dreams
• My Left Foot

The Envelope Please... (Best Actor)

And here are your winners!

1980 Winner: Robert De Niro as Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull
1981 Winner: Henry Fonda as Norman Thayer in On Golden Pond
1982 Winner: Ben Kingsley as Mahatma Gandhi in Gandhi
1983 Winner: Robert Duvall as Mac Sledge in Tender Mercies
1984 Winner: F. Murray Abraham as Antonio Salieri in Amadeus
1985 Winner: William Hurt as Luis Molina in Kiss of the Spider Woman
1986 Winner: Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felson in The Color of Money
1987 Winner: Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko in Wall Street
1988 Winner: Dustin Hoffman as Raymond Babbitt in Rain Man
1989 Winner: Daniel Day-Lewis as Christy Brown in My Left Foot

Oscar Week Continues: Best Actor

What do you know about these films? What do you remember? The following actors were nominated for Best Supporting Actor in the 1980s. Can you remember who actually won?
Check back first thing tomorrow morning for the winners.

1980 Nominees:

• Robert De Niro as Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull
• Robert Duvall as Lieutenant Colonel Bull Meechum in The Great Santini
• John Hurt as John Merrick in The Elephant Man
• Jack Lemmon as Scottie Templeton in Tribute
• Peter O'Toole as Eli Cross in The Stunt Man

1981 Nominees:

• Warren Beatty as John Reed in Reds
• Henry Fonda as Norman Thayer in On Golden Pond
• Burt Lancaster as Lou Pascal in Atlantic City
• Dudley Moore as Arthur Bach in Arthur
• Paul Newman as Michael Colin Gallagher in Absence of Malice

1982 Nominees:

• Dustin Hoffman as Michael Dorsey / Dorothy Michaels in Tootsie
• Ben Kingsley as Mahatma Gandhi in Gandhi
• Jack Lemmon as Ed Horman in Missing
• Paul Newman as Frank Galvin in The Verdict
• Peter O'Toole as Alan Swann in My Favorite Year

1983 Nominees:

• Michael Caine as Dr. Frank Bryant in Educating Rita
• Tom Conti as Gowan McGland in Reuben, Reuben
• Tom Courtenay as Norman in The Dresser
• Robert Duvall as Mac Sledge in Tender Mercies
• Albert Finney as Sir in The Dresser

1984 Nominees:

• F. Murray Abraham as Antonio Salieri in Amadeus
• Jeff Bridges as Starman in Starman
• Albert Finney as Geoffrey Firmin in Under the Volcano
• Tom Hulce as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart in Amadeus
• Sam Waterston as Sydney Schanberg in The Killing Fields

1985 Nominees:

• Harrison Ford as Det. Capt. John Book in Witness
• James Garner as Murphy Jones in Murphy's Romance
• William Hurt as Luis Molina in Kiss of the Spider Woman
• Jack Nicholson as Charley Partanna in Prizzi's Honor
• John Voight as Oscar 'Manny' Manheim in Runaway Train

1986 Nominees:

• Dexter Gordon as Dale Turner in 'Round Midnight
• Bob Hoskins as George in Mona Lisa
• William Hurt as James Leeds in Children of a Lesser God
• Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felson in The Color of Money
• James Woods as Richard Boyle in Salvador

1987 Nominees:

• Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko in Wall Street
• William Hurt as Tom Grunick in Broadcast News
• Marcello Mastroianni as Romano in Dark Eyes
• Jack Nicholson as Francis Phelan in Ironweed
• Robin Williams as Adrian Cronauer in Good Morning, Vietnam

1988 Nominees:

• Gene Hackman as Agent Rupert Anderson in Mississippi Burning
• Dustin Hoffman as Raymond Babbitt in Rain Man
• Tom Hanks as Josh Baskin in Big
• Edward James Olmos as Jaime Escalante in Stand and Deliver
• Max von Sydow as Lassefar in Pelle the Conqueror

1989 Nominees:

• Kenneth Branagh as Henry V in Henry V
• Tom Cruise as Ron Kovic in Born on the Fourth of July
• Daniel Day-Lewis as Christy Brown in My Left Foot
• Morgan Freeman as Hoke Colburn in Driving Miss Daisy
• Robin Williams as John Keating in Dead Poets Society

The Envelope Please... (Best Actress)

And here are your winners!

1980 Winner: Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner's Daughter
1981 Winner: Katharine Hepburn as Ethel Thayer in On Golden Pond
1982 Winner: Meryl Streep as Sophie Zawistowski in Sophie's Choice
1983 Winner: Shirley MacLaine as Aurora Greenway in Terms of Endearment
1984 Winner: Sally Field as Edna Spalding in Places in the Heart
1985 Winner: Geraldine Page as Carrie Watts in The Trip to Bountiful
1986 Winner: Marlee Matlin as Sarah Norman in Children of a Lesser God
1987 Winner: Cher as Loretta Castorini in Moonstruck
1988 Winner: Jodie Foster as Sarah Tobias in The Accused
1989 Winner: Jessica Tandy as Daisy Werthan in Driving Miss Daisy

Oscar Week Continues; Best Actress

What do you know about these films? What do you remember? The following actresses were nominated for Best Supporting Actress in the 1980s. Can you remember who actually won?
Check back first thing tomorrow morning for the winners.

1980 Nominees:

• Ellen Burstyn as Edna Mae McCauley in Resurrection
• Goldie Hawn as Pvt. Judy Benjamin in Private Benjamin
• Mary Tyler Moore as Beth Jarrett in Ordinary People
• Gena Rowlands as Gloria Swenson in Gloria
• Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner's Daughter

1981 Nominees:

• Katharine Hepburn as Ethel Thayer in On Golden Pond
• Diane Keaton as Louise Bryant in Reds
• Marsha Mason as Georgia in Only When I Laugh
• Susan Sarandon as Sally Matthews in Atlantic City
• Meryl Streep as Sarah / Anna in The French Lieutenant's Woman

1982 Nominees:

• Julie Andres as Victoria Grant, aka Count Victor Grezhinski in Victor/Victoria
• Jessica Lange as Frances Farmer in Frances
• Sissy Spacek as Beth Horman in Missing
• Meryl Streep as Sophie Zawistowski in Sophie's Choice
• Debra Winger as Paula Pokrifki in An Officer and a Gentleman

1983 Nominees:

• Jane Alexander as Carol Wetherly in Testament
• Shirley MacLaine as Aurora Greenway in Terms of Endearment
• Meryl Streep as Karen Silkwood in Silkwood
• Julie Walters as Rita in Educating Rita
• Debra Winger as Emma Greenway Horton in Terms of Endearment

1984 Nominees:

• Judy Davis as Adela Quested in A Passage to India
• Sally Field as Edna Spalding in Places in the Heart
• Jessica Lange as Jewell Ivy in Country
• Vanessa Redgrave as Olive Chancellor in The Bostonians
• Sissy Spacek as Mae Garvey in The River
  

1985 Nominees:

• Anne Bancroft as Mother Miriam Ruth in Agnes of God
• Whoopi Goldberg as Celie Johnson in The Color Purple
• Jessica Lange as Patsy Cline in Sweet Dreams
• Geraldine Page as Carrie Watts in The Trip to Bountiful
• Meryl Streep as Karen Blixen in Out of Africa
  

1986 Nominees:

• Jane Fonda as Alex Sternbergen in The Morning After
• Marlee Matlin as Sarah Norman in Children of a Lesser God
• Sissy Spacek as Rebecca 'Babe' / Becky Magrath Botrelle in Crimes of the Heart
• Kathleen Turner as Peggy Sue Bodell in Peggy Sue Got Married
• Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in Aliens

1987 Nominees:

• Cher as Loretta Castorini in Moonstruck
• Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction
• Holly Hunter as Jane Craig in Broadcast News
• Sally Kirkland as Anna in Anna
• Meryl Streep as Helen Archer in Ironweed

1988 Nominees:

• Glenn Close as Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons
• Jodie Foster as Sarah Tobias in The Accused
• Melanie Griffith as Tess McGill in Working Girl
• Meryl Streep as Lindy Chamberlain in A Cry in the Dark
• Sigourney Weaver as Dian Fossey in Gorillas in the Mist
  

1989 Nominees:

• Isabelle Adjani as Camille Claudel in Camille Claudel
• Pauline Collins as Shirley Valentine-Bradshaw in Shirley Valentine
• Jessica Lange as Ann Talbot in Music Box
• Michelle Pfeiffer as Susie Diamond in The Fabulous Baker Boys
• Jessica Tandy as Daisy Werthan in Driving Miss Daisy
  

The Envelope Please... (Best Supporting Actress)

And here are your winners!

1980 Winner: Mary Steenburgen as Lynda Dummar in Melvin and Howard
1981 Winner: Maureen Stapleton as Emma Goldman in Reds
1982 Winner: Jessica Lange as Julie Nichols in Tootsie
1983 Winner: Linda Hunt as Billy Kwan in The Year of Living Dangerously
1984 Winner: Peggy Ashcroft as Mrs. Moore in A Passage to India
1985 Winner: Anjelica Huston as Maerose Prizzi in Prizzi's Honor
1986 Winner: Dianne Wiest as Holly in Hannah and Her Sisters
1987 Winner: Olympia Dukakis as Rose Castorini in Moonstruck
1988 Winner: Geena Davis as Muriel Pritchett in The Accidental Tourist
1989 Winner: Brenda Fricker as Mrs. Brown in My Left Foot

Raised in the 80s Roundup: Best Supporting Actresses

What do you know about these films? What do you remember? The following actresses were nominated for Best Supporting Actress in the 1980s. Can you remember who actually won?
Check back first thing tomorrow morning for the winners.

1980 Nominees:

• Eileen Brennan as Capt. Doreen Lewis in Private Benjamin
• Eva Le Gallienne as Grandma Pearl in Resurrection
• Cathy Moriarty as Vickie Thailer LaMotta in Raging Bull
• Diana Scarwid as Louise in Inside Moves
• Mary Steenburgen as Lynda Dummar in Melvin and Howard

1981 Nominees:

• Melinda Dillon as Teresa Perrone in Absence of Malice
• Jane Fonda as Chelsea Thayer Wayne in On Golden Pond
• Joan Hackett as Toby in Only When I Laugh
• Elizabeth McGovern as Evelyn Nesbit in Ragtime
• Maureen Stapleton as Emma Goldman in Reds

1982 Nominees:

• Glenn Close as Jenny Fields in The World According to Garp
• Teri Garr as Sandy Lester in Tootsie
• Jessica Lange as Julie Nichols in Tootsie
• Kim Stanley as Lillian Farmer in Frances
• Lesley Ann Warren as Norma Cassady in Victor/Victoria

1983 Nominees:

• Cher as Dolly Pelliker in Silkwood
• Glenn Close as Sarah Cooper in The Big Chill
• Linda Hunt as Billy Kwan in The Year of Living Dangerously
  
• Amy Irving as Hadass in Yentl
• Alfre Woodard as Geechee in Cross Creek

1984 Nominees:

• Peggy Ashcroft as Mrs. Moore in A Passage to India
• Glenn Close as Iris Gaines in The Natural
• Lindsay Crouse as Margaret Lomax in Places in the Heart
• Christine Lahti as Hazel in Swing Shift
• Geraldine Page as Mrs. Ritter in The Pope of Greenwich Village

1985 Nominees:

• Margaret Avery as Shug Avery in The Color Purple
• Anjelica Huston as Maerose Prizzi in Prizzi's Honor
• Amy Madigan as Sunny in Twice in a Lifetime
• Meg Tilly as Sister Agnes in Agnes of God
• Oprah Winfrey as Sofia in The Color Purple

1986 Nominees:

• Tess Harper as Chick Boyle in Crimes of the Heart
• Piper Laurie as Mrs. Norman in Children of a Lesser God
• Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio as Carmen in The Color of Money
• Maggie Smith as Charlotte Bartlett in A Room with a View
• Dianne Wiest as Holly in Hannah and Her Sisters

1987 Nominees:

• Norma Aleandro as Florencia in Gaby: A True Story
• Anne Archer as Beth Gallagher in Fatal Attraction
• Olympia Dukakis as Rose Castorini in Moonstruck
• Anne Ramsey as Mrs. Lift in Throw Momma from the Train
• Ann Sothern as Tisha Doughty in The Whales of August

1988 Nominees:

• Joan Cusack as Cyn in Working Girl
• Geena Davis as Muriel Pritchett in The Accidental Tourist
• Frances McDormand as Mrs. Pell in Mississippi Burning
• Michelle Pfeiffer as Madame Marie de Tourvel in Dangerous Liaisons
• Sigourney Weaver as Katharine Parker in Working Girl

1989 Nominees:

• Brenda Fricker as Mrs. Brown in My Left Foot
• Anjelica Huston as Tamara Broder in Enemies, a Love Story
• Lena Olin as Masha in Enemies, a Love Story
• Julia Roberts as Shelby Eatenton Latcherie in Steel Magnolias
• Dianne Wiest as Helen Buckman in Parenthood
  

The Envelope Please... (Best Supporting Actor)

And here are your winners!

1980 Winner: Timothy Hutton as Conrad Jarrett in Ordinary People
1981 Winner: John Gielgud as Hobson in Arthur
1982 Winner: Louis Gossett, Jr. as Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley in An Officer and a Gentleman
1983 Winner: Jack Nicholson as Garrett Breedlove in Terms of Endearment
1984 Winner: Haing S. Ngor as Dith Pran in The Killing Fields
1985 Winner: Don Ameche as Arthur Selwyn in Cocoon
1986 Winner: Michael Caine as Elliot in Hannah and Her Sisters
1987 Winner: Sean Connery as Jim Malone in The Untouchables
1988 Winner: Kevin Kline as Otto West in A Fish Called Wanda
1989 Winner: Denzel Washington as Pvt. Trip in Glory

Raised in the 80s Trivia Quiz 2 Answers

1. Who originally recorded Dancing with Myself before Billy Idol?
   Generation X [which was Billy Idol's band, before he went solo]
   
2. What year is 1982's Blade Runner set in?
   2019
3. What 1987 film was the first collaboration between the two Coreys? (Haim & Feldman)
   The Lost Boys
4. What are the three things to fear in the Fire Swamp?
   Flame spurts, lightning sand, and ROUSs (Rodents of Unusual Size)
5. What are the Hardy Boys' first names?
   Frank and Joe
6. What does Corey Hart wear at night?
   His sunglasses
7. What is the dog's name on Fraggle Rock?
   Sprocket
8. What are the names of the four ghosts in Pac-Man?
   Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde
9. Which of the four Golden Girls was played by the oldest actress?
   Rose [It's not actually Estelle Getty, who was younger than Bea Arthur, who played her daughter!]
10. What was the name of the woman who asked 'Where's the Beef?'
    Clara Peller
11. Who played the three Witches of Eastwick?
    Cher, Susan Sarandon, & Michelle Pfeiffer
12. Who is Strawberry Shortcake's arch-nemesis?
    The Peculiar Purple Pieman [from Porcupine Peak]
13. What video game featured these opponents: Glass Joe, Bald Bull, and Pizza Pasta?
    Punch-Out!! [Don't forget the multiple exclamation points---a sure sign of a deranged mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!]
14. What was the name of the ship in Pigs in Spaaaaace?
    The Swinetrek
15. What game does the phrase 'All your base are belong to us' come from?
    Zero Wing
    

Raised in the 80s Roundup: Best Supporting Actors

What do you know about these films? What do you remember? The following actors were nominated for Best Supporting Actor in the 1980s. Can you remember who actually won?
Check back first thing tomorrow morning for the winners.

1980 Nominees:

• Judd Hirsch as Dr. Tyrone C. Berger in Ordinary People
• Timothy Hutton as Conrad Jarrett in Ordinary People
• Michael O'Keefe as Ben Meechum in The Great Santini
• Joe Pesci as Joey LaMotta in Raging Bull
• Jason Robards as Howard Hughes in Melvin and Howard

1981 Nominees:

• James Coco as Jimmy in Only When I Laugh
• John Gielgud as Hobson in Arthur
• Ian Holm as Sam Mussabini in Chariots of Fire
• Jack Nicholson as Eugene O'Neill in Reds
• Howard Rollins as Coalhouse Walker, Jr. in Ragtime

1982 Nominees:

• Charles Durning as the Governor in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
• Louis Gossett, Jr. as Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley in An Officer and a Gentleman
• John Lithgow as Roberta Muldoon in The World according to Garp
• James Mason as Ed Concannon in The Verdict
• Robert Preston as Carroll 'Toddy' Todd in Victor/Victoria

1983 Nominees:

• Charles Durning as Colonel Erhardt in To Be or Not to Be
• John Lithgow as Sam Burns in Terms of Endearment
• Jack Nicholson as Garrett Breedlove in Terms of Endearment
• Sam Shepard as Chuck Yeager in The Right Stuff
• Rip Torn as Marsh Turner in Cross Creek

1984 Nominees:

• 
  

• Adolph Caesar as Sergeant Waters in A Soldier's Story
• John Malkovitch as Mr. Will in Places in the Heart
• Noriyke Pat Morita as Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid
• Haing S. Ngor as Dith Pran in The Killing Fields
• Ralph Richardson as the Sixth Earl of Greystoke in Greystoke - the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes

1985 Nominees:

• Don Ameche as Arthur Selwyn in Cocoon
• Klaus Maria Brandauer as Baron Bror von Blixen-Finecke in Out of Africa
• William Hickey as Don Corrado Prizzi in Prizzi's Honor
• Robert Loggia as Sam Ransom in Jagged Edge
• Eric Roberts as Buck in Runaway Train

1986 Nominees:

• Tom Berneger as Sgt. Barnes in Platoon
• Michael Caine as Elliot in Hannah and Her Sisters
• Willem Dafoe as Sgt. Elias in Platoon
• Denholm Elliott as Mr. Emerson in A Room with a View
• Dennis Hopper as Shooter in Hoosiers

1987 Nominees:

• Albert Brooks as Aaron Altman in Broadcast News
• Sean Connery as Jim Malone in The Untouchables
• Morgan Freeman as Fast Black in Street Smart
• Vincent Gardenia as Cosmo Castorini in Moonstruck
• Denzel Washington as Steve Biko in Cry Freedom

1988 Nominees:

• Alec Guinness as William Dorrit in Little Dorrit
• Kevin Kline as Otto West in A Fish Called Wanda
• Martin Landau as Abe Karatz in Tucker: The Man and His Dream
• River Phoenix as Danny Pope in Running on Empty
• Dean Stockwell as Tony 'The Tiger' Russo in Married to the Mob

1989 Nominees:

• Danny Aiello as Sal in Do the Right Thing
• Dan Aykroyd as Boolie Werthan in Driving Miss Daisy
• Marlon Brando as Ian Mackenzie in A Dry White Season
• Martin Landau as Judah Rosenthal in Crimes and Misdemeanors
• Denzel Washington as Pvt. Trip in Glory
  

What happened to Sesame Street

If you've watched recent episodes of Sesame Street lately, I'm sure you've noticed what many of us have seen and bemoaned. The Street has changed.

The humans have gotten older. After all, some of them have been at this for 40 years! Some muppets have changed their voices slightly, or have been given cosmetic changes. This always happens.

But the biggest change might be the street itself. When we were little, it was very much an inner-city street. The set looked a bit grubby. Often times, there would be bags of trash around--not just at Oscar's, but on the other side of 123 Sesame Street. The overall effect was more gritty.

But now the set has been cleaned up. The dinginess is gone. Now it looks clean enough that you could eat off the ground. At first it used to trouble me. But today I realized for the first time that this is the same thing that's happening in my neighbourhood.

Gentrification.

The Tragedy of Sesame Street

Don't be fooled. Life wasn't all sunny days on Sesame Street. If you need any convincing, look no further than the case of David. This is not to be confused with the tragic story of Northern Calloway, the actor who played David. Calloway was a brilliant performer whose life was cut short by a sudden death in 1990. His family have not made a big scene over the circumstances of his illness or death, and rumours of legal, physical and mental health issues have circulated for years.
However, the tragedy of David is even more heart-wrenching. I realize that there's a lot of the story that can be explained by a longtime battle with cancer, the details of which we'll never fully appreciate. But try to look at the story just as it appeared to the kids watching Sesame Street:

In 1971, David first appears on Sesame Street, one of the first new human characters since the show began. Without a doubt, David was the coolest one on Sesame Street. In fact, because it was the 70s, David could be hip. He was funny, he had awesome clothes, and everyone wanted to be like him.

That's part of the reason he was written into the show. The creators wanted to have an African-American character who could be a role-model, older-brother type for kids who watched Sesame Street. Gordon was too old, and just not with it enough to be that character, so David came on board. He was meant to be a positive role model, to show black kids that they could have a future that involved more than just drugs and gangs and violence.

In his second season on the Street, David even started to go to law school, working part-time in Hooper's Store. In 1974, Maria moved to Sesame Street, and as the 'young couple' on the Street, there was definite chemistry between her and David. Supposedly, there was never a serious relationship. They were just 'good friends'. But the amount of time they spent together (quite closely) seems to suggest otherwise. Things were looking good for David, and the future was golden.

And then, the unthinkable happened. In November 1983, a very special episode of Sesame Street ran, breaking the news that Mr. Hooper had died. What's more, he had left Hooper's Store to David in his will. Suddenly, there wasn't as much talk about becoming a lawyer. While Hooper's Store was probably a pretty good business to run, it was kind of like George Bailey taking over the Savings and Loan. Suddenly, all his dreams got put on the back burner, because someone had to stay around to make Big Bird's birdseed milkshakes.

And as time went on, David and Maria weren't so close a couple anymore. Suddenly, she and Luis started to make goo-goo eyes at each other, and the next thing you know, they're getting married (on TV, as tacky as it is). I haven't got access to enough old episodes to track it specifically, but you'll also notice that during this same period, David started putting on weight. Not just getting a bit soft around the middle–he got FAT.

That's right, buddy. Smile and wave manically, to cover up the fact that your heart is breaking. The very last episode David was in was when Luis and Maria's daughter was born, and he realized that he was never going to get her back. It's kind of sad, when you think about it. And then, without any real goodbyes, David was gone – moved away to live with his grandmother, or so they said. And looking back at it, I can't think of anything to say except 'How sad.'

Raised in the 80s Trivia Quiz 2

Are you ready for another batch of Raised in the 80s Trivia? How much of this do you remember (without resorting to Wikipedia?) Answers in three days...

1. Who originally recorded Dancing with Myself before Billy Idol?
   
2. What year is 1982's Blade Runner set in?
   
3. What 1987 film was the first collaboration between the two Coreys? (Haim & Feldman)
   
4. What are the three things to fear in the Fire Swamp?
   
5. What are the Hardy Boys' first names?
   
6. What does Corey Hart wear at night?
   
7. What is the dog's name on Fraggle Rock?
   
8. What are the names of the four ghosts in Pac-Man?
   
9. Which of the four Golden Girls was played by the oldest actress?
10. What was the name of the woman who asked 'Where's the Beef?'
    
11. Who played the three Witches of Eastwick?
12. Who is Strawberry Shortcake's arch-nemesis?
13. What video game featured these opponents: Glass Joe, Bald Bull, and Pizza Pasta?
14. What was the name of the ship in Pigs in Spaaaaace?
    
15. What game does the phrase 'All your base are belong to us' come from?
    

867-5309 (You *know* that number, don't you?)

This just in, via Kickin' it Old School : 80s Hit 867-5309 Phone Number Sold on Ebay Auction

I'm not old enough to really remember 867-5309/Jenny when it was first a big hit, but I remember hearing it a lot on the radio while I was growing up.  The group responsible, Tommy Tutone, is generally considered a one-hit wonder, but what a hit it was!  The catchy little song about a girl's phone number scrawled on a bathroom wall spawned a frenzy of calls to Jenny at 867-5309 in almost every area code.  

And now, someone has just made a bundle on that number!  A guy in New Jersey who was the proud owner of 201-867-5309 tried to sell it on eBay, in the hopes of getting $40,000 for it, and being able to take a fancy Caribbean vacation.  Now, he can't legally sell the number itself (that's against the phone company's regulations) but he can sell his DJ business that the number is registered to.

The auction gained a lot of interest from the press, and just closed two days ago.  When all was said and done, he wound up getting $186,853.09 for it.  (Some clever bidder bid $1-867-53.09, and got outbid by $100!) You can see it for yourself here.

Shipping was free.

Computer Critters / Rubik / The Friendly Giant / McDLT

The final installment in the Computer Critters series, and perhaps the one I remember best. For years, I used to have that 'cut it down to size: you can edit or revise' bit running through my head. I remember singing it to myself as I worked with an old word processor for the Commodore 64. I don't remember when I've ever been so excited about a word processor.



Do you remember this cartoon? The premise was that an amazing magical Rubik's cube dropped out of a gypsy wagon and into these kids' lives. The idea was that when you solved the cube, he could talk and fly, and do all kinds of magic. (I remember thinking at the time that if you could actually solve a Rubik's cube, you didn't need magic: you were already a certified genius.) Trouble was, that at some point in every episode, someone would drop him, and he'd get scrambled, and the kids would get captured, or into some kind of trouble... Oh, the things these cartoon writers would dream up! Plus, you know it's a good thing when Menudo is singing your theme song!



Non-Canadians might not get this one, but if you grew up in Canada during the 80s, I'm sure you knew the Friendly Giant. It was a very calm, quite sensible children's show, the likes of which we'll never see again. There are a couple of things that I don't get, though. If you came to a castle with the words 'Friendly Giant' burned on the front door, wouldn't you think it was a trap? And if that's how big the chairs were in comparison to the giant, doesn't that make one big-ass chicken? The great thing about this show is that most of it seemed to be improvised, sometimes with unexpected results. I know that rooster dropped an F-bomb in one episode!



The McDLT. Back in the days when McDonald's didn't give a damn about the environment. Not only were they still using styrofoam for their packaging, they were using twice as much, to keep the hot side of your burger hot and the cold side cold. This was supposed to be a great gimmick. What they never tell you is that the McDLT was released because McDonald's employees in the 80s were too lazy to assemble your burgers and wanted to make you do it for them. And do you remember when Jason Alexander had hair?!

An Outbreak of Cooties: Why are peanuts and scents banned in schools but not lousy students?

When we were kids, we used to worry about getting 'cooties' from the girls in our class, and they were probably just as worried about getting them from us. You had to watch who you hang out with, or you could get them. What's worse, once you've got them, you can spread them.

But then somewhere along the line, cooties stopped being the elementary school equivalent of an STD or leprosy and started to become something even more sinister. Go on, say it with me, just for the tingle it sends over your scalp. Head lice.

I remember being screened for head lice in elementary school. I remember an outbreak or two. I remember boiling our combs and having to wash with the horrible medicated shampoo. The important thing was knowing who actually had head lice, so that the outbreak could be contained and eliminated.

Turns out they don't do that anymore. A woman in Newfoundland has decided to keep her daughter home from school rather than send her back to the school that's seen its third outbreak of head lice this year. She says that if health officials would reinstate school checks for lice, she's send her back tomorrow. The health officials argue that it's not effective to do mass screenings, and that they prefer to educate parents on how to identify and treat lice at home.

Pardon me while I rant. WTF is the world coming to? If I sent my kid to school with a peanut butter sandwich, I'd be treated like a terrorist. Don't you know that some children are allergic to peanuts, and even having them in the same province could kill them? If a teenager goes to school wearing too much AXE body spray, they can be suspended for violating no-scent rules. Yet if a kid comes to school infested with lice, spreading discomfort to classmates and inconvenience to their parents, what are we going to do as a society?

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be accommodating towards other people's sensitivities. Even so, there's a part of me that longs for the good old days when kids could have whatever damn sandwich they wanted, and teenagers had a choice between being laughed at for smelling like too much cheap cologne or being shunned for smelling like BO.

Come on! While peanut and fragrance allergies are a real thing, they do get blown out of proportion, and people get hysterical. Fact is, in the real world, some kids need to learn to respect other people's individual rights, and others need to learn to cope with their own sensitivities, or get into a big plastic bubble.

But if we're going to get so extreme about foods and scents, why not get similarly extreme about little critters running through your hair that spread like wildfire through a school? That's just disgusting.

[Now I've got to go scratch my head. Just thinking about it makes my scalp itch!]

Star Wars Tribute

Star Wars according to a 3 year old


Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it)

Scene from Empire Strikes Back

1980s Redux

The Big Boo over at Child of the 1980s has shared some disturbing news, which I had not yet realized.  It turns out that Madballs are making a comeback.  Their official website shows the full lineup, which is a reworking of the classic 80s Madballs.  They've even added a Madballs 'Sick Series' in which you squeeze the balls to watch brains or mucous or other goo come oozing out of the Madballs' heads.

Now, in theory, I'm in favour of this.  I believe in warping our childrens' minds with the same kinds of popular culture that we were warped with.  But there is a part of me that groans when more 80s nostalgia starts turning into 'nowstalgia'.  Look at all the reworkings, revisionings and rebootings of 80s films, sitcoms, cartoons and pop culture that keep coming out every year.  Can no one come up with anything new?

I understand what's going on here.  People like Tobey Maguire, raised (if not born) in the 1980s, are coming into their own now.  They suddenly have all kinds of money and Hollywood clout, and when Maguire decides he wants to make a live-action version of the anime series Robotech, there's no reason why he shouldn't.  On one level, it's homage.  On another level, it's just taking what someone else was creative enough to come up with, remarketing it for a new generation, and getting all the credit.

The question I can't overlook is this:  What does this say about our society?  Does this mean that North American art and culture reached its perfection in the 1980s, and that everything else is a pale imitation?  Or does it mean that in the 21st century, we're so creatively bankrupt that we're left raiding our own childhoods just so we can make movies, toys and TV?

Top Five Songs of the 1980s: 1981

From the Billboard Hot 100, here were the top five songs for 1981:

5. Rick Springfield / Jessie's Girl / from Working Class Dog


4. John Lennon / (Just Like) Starting Over / from Double Fantasy


3. Kenny Rogers / Lady

2. Diana Ross & Lionel Richie / Endless Love / from Why Do Fools Fall in Love

1. Kim Carnes / Bette Davis Eyes / from Mistaken Identity

Computer Critters 3 / Mr Belvedere / Prostars

Get organized, Dad! With a database management system! Use it to organize your tapes, recipes and flowers, but just try not to think about how a rabbit and a squirrel can give birth to a raccoon...


I should want to shake hands with Mr. Belvedere. I shouldn't want to grab a lock of his hair.
I should want to cook him a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.
I should want to say hi to him nicely, I shouldn't want to keep him in a big jar in my basement... because... his breath would fog up the glass and I wouldn't be able to see him...


'Prostars. It's all about helping kids.' That, and the fact that we don't seem to have saved our money. Someone please help these struggling athletes! Watch their cartoon show!


Or, just buy their cereal!

Down here, it's our time.

It's our time down here.

That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.

Top Five Songs of the 1980s: 1980

From the Billboard Hot 100, here were the top five songs for 1980:

5. Captain & Tenille / Do That to Me One More Time / from Make Your Move

4. Michael Jackson / Rock with You / from Off the Wall


3. Olivia Newton-John / Magic / from Xanadu [Original Soundtrack]


2. Pink Floyd / Another Brick in the Wall / from Delicate Sound of Thunder


1. Blondie / Call Me / from American Gigolo [Original Soundtrack]

Raised in the 80s Trivia Quiz 1 Answers

1. What was the name of Uncle Jesse's band on Full House?
   Jesse and the Rippers [Yeah, they were badasses.]
   
2. What was the band Europe's biggest hit in the US?
   The Final Countdown [Which is currently my ringtone.]
   
3. What did Frankie say?
   Relax [Just check the T-shirt.]
   
4. What's the name of Cap'n Crunch's ship?
   S.S. Guppy [The original Cap'n lapsed into a diabetic coma in 1994, leading to the swift promotion of Commander Crunch to fill his place. You can tell by the different eyebrows.]
   
5. What 1984 film was the first to be rated PG-13?
   Red Dawn. [The Soviet Union and its Central American allies invade the US! Chilling.]
   
6. Before 'Straight Up' or American Idol, what basketball team was Paula Abdul a cheerleader for?
   The LA Lakers
   
7. In what year was the Koosh ball first released?
   1987 [The Koosh was so named because that's the noise it made when it landed]
   
8. What was the name of Mr. T's character in Rocky III?
   Clubber Lang [It was also from this film that the phrase 'I pity the fool' comes.]
   
9. Who is the villain in the 1986 film ¡Three Amigos!?
   El Guapo [played by Alfonso Arau]
   
10. What animal has the scientific name Artema Nyos?
    Sea monkeys [also the only animal to be patented!]
    
11. What game's name is derived from the Swahili word for 'to build'?
    Jenga [J-J-J-Jenga!]
    
12. What was B.A. Baracus's main fear?
    Flying
    
13. What fruit is the bonus on the first level of Pac-Man?
    Cherries [Then strawberry, orange, bell, apple, grapes, and some other stuff I could never identify]
    
14. Who 'built this city on rock 'n' roll'?
    Starship
    
15. Which Bruce Springsteen video did Courtney Cox appear in?
    Dancing in the Dark