Muppets on Beta!

My parents were clearing out their basement, and finally decided to get rid of their old Betamax player. Do you remember Beta? Although it lost the market to VHS, it was actually a technically superior machine, with better recording and playback. If I remember correctly, the biggest trouble was that the faster tape speed meant that you couldn't record nearly as much on a single cassette tape. So even if it was better quality, people weren't as excited about it.
But not only did my parents' antiquated Beta VCR still work (after cleaning and drying out) but there were a few tapes still kicking around, including this one, with some favourite moments from the Muppet Show. Enjoy.

You probably remember all those clips, but here's something serious. Were you one of those folks whose parents got onto the wrong bandwagon when the time came to buy a VCR? Actually, to tell the truth, I'm not really sure which VCR was the wrong choice. Yes, in the course of time, VHS really did crush the Beta opposition, but who's buying VHS now? Way back in the day, Betamaxes actually had better video and audio quality. They just got beat out commercially by a better-marketed product that was all right, but technically inferior. Kind of like the way that HD-DVD was buried by Blu-Ray. Only thing is, with a bit of digging around, you might still find an HD-DVD player, while your Beta tapes are just going to moulder away in the basement. Or are they? This would have been a great way to recover those lost 80s TV shows that you taped, if only HD-DVD had survived...


Sorry to follow up on the Betamax line of thought even further. In a particularly candid moment, US president Barack Obama drew parallels between current economic woes and the 1980s mentality that led to the VHS ascendancy. Obama pointed out that 'sometimes, the answer isn't always "Bigger is better" [referring to the larger VHS tape format]. The only way to be sure is to weigh all the alternatives.'

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Long Sought-after Sesame Street clips

These were two of my favourite Sesame Street bits when I was a kid. It's not necessarily because they were the best, or the funniest, but because I only ever got to see them two or three times when I was little. In fact, I'm sure that part of the reason I watched Sesame Street as long as I did was because of the hope of seeing these again. Of course, now with YouTube, you can see just about anything you'd ever want to see from your childhood, but in case you haven't thought to look these up yet, here they are! Do you remember them? Does this make you as excited as it does me?

Extended Pinball Routine

The pinball routine was one of my favourite bits of Sesame Street. It's got a great little song, and when I was really little, I had no idea what pinball was, only just that there were some pretty funny bits on Sesame Street with a shiny ball. And while the pinball segments were great, I always kept watching for this one. Normally, the first three bits were always the same, and there was one distinct segment for the number of the day, with a zoo theme, or American landmarks, or whatever. But sometimes you'd get the extended play, when it would just keep going. Rather than rolling off into the distance as the blimp sailed by at the bottom of the screen, the pinball would drop into another distinctive segment. This was nothing short of awesome! I know that as a kid, I remembered that the witch's cave featured in this one, but I couldn't quite figure why the action didn't continue every time the ball went into the witches cave.

Jazzy Spies #8

The first time I saw this, I was blown away! Ernie and Bert had been watching the same thing I was! Years later, I never remembered that it was the I 8 the sandbox routine that followed up on this, so every time the 'Jazzy Spies' came on, I'd sit up excitedly, hoping to catch Bert and Ernie watching at the end. Technically, the name for these segments are 'Jazz 8' (or 9 or 10 or whatever) but they're popularly known as 'Jazzy Spies' because of the secret-agent guys at the end. And yes, that is Jefferson Airplane's Grace Slick singing!

What happened to Sesame Street

If you've watched recent episodes of Sesame Street lately, I'm sure you've noticed what many of us have seen and bemoaned. The Street has changed.

The humans have gotten older. After all, some of them have been at this for 40 years! Some muppets have changed their voices slightly, or have been given cosmetic changes. This always happens.

But the biggest change might be the street itself. When we were little, it was very much an inner-city street. The set looked a bit grubby. Often times, there would be bags of trash around--not just at Oscar's, but on the other side of 123 Sesame Street. The overall effect was more gritty.

But now the set has been cleaned up. The dinginess is gone. Now it looks clean enough that you could eat off the ground. At first it used to trouble me. But today I realized for the first time that this is the same thing that's happening in my neighbourhood.

Gentrification.

The Tragedy of Sesame Street

Don't be fooled. Life wasn't all sunny days on Sesame Street. If you need any convincing, look no further than the case of David. This is not to be confused with the tragic story of Northern Calloway, the actor who played David. Calloway was a brilliant performer whose life was cut short by a sudden death in 1990. His family have not made a big scene over the circumstances of his illness or death, and rumours of legal, physical and mental health issues have circulated for years.
However, the tragedy of David is even more heart-wrenching. I realize that there's a lot of the story that can be explained by a longtime battle with cancer, the details of which we'll never fully appreciate. But try to look at the story just as it appeared to the kids watching Sesame Street:

In 1971, David first appears on Sesame Street, one of the first new human characters since the show began. Without a doubt, David was the coolest one on Sesame Street. In fact, because it was the 70s, David could be hip. He was funny, he had awesome clothes, and everyone wanted to be like him.

That's part of the reason he was written into the show. The creators wanted to have an African-American character who could be a role-model, older-brother type for kids who watched Sesame Street. Gordon was too old, and just not with it enough to be that character, so David came on board. He was meant to be a positive role model, to show black kids that they could have a future that involved more than just drugs and gangs and violence.

In his second season on the Street, David even started to go to law school, working part-time in Hooper's Store. In 1974, Maria moved to Sesame Street, and as the 'young couple' on the Street, there was definite chemistry between her and David. Supposedly, there was never a serious relationship. They were just 'good friends'. But the amount of time they spent together (quite closely) seems to suggest otherwise. Things were looking good for David, and the future was golden.

And then, the unthinkable happened. In November 1983, a very special episode of Sesame Street ran, breaking the news that Mr. Hooper had died. What's more, he had left Hooper's Store to David in his will. Suddenly, there wasn't as much talk about becoming a lawyer. While Hooper's Store was probably a pretty good business to run, it was kind of like George Bailey taking over the Savings and Loan. Suddenly, all his dreams got put on the back burner, because someone had to stay around to make Big Bird's birdseed milkshakes.

And as time went on, David and Maria weren't so close a couple anymore. Suddenly, she and Luis started to make goo-goo eyes at each other, and the next thing you know, they're getting married (on TV, as tacky as it is). I haven't got access to enough old episodes to track it specifically, but you'll also notice that during this same period, David started putting on weight. Not just getting a bit soft around the middle–he got FAT.

That's right, buddy. Smile and wave manically, to cover up the fact that your heart is breaking. The very last episode David was in was when Luis and Maria's daughter was born, and he realized that he was never going to get her back. It's kind of sad, when you think about it. And then, without any real goodbyes, David was gone – moved away to live with his grandmother, or so they said. And looking back at it, I can't think of anything to say except 'How sad.'

Raised in the 80s Trivia Quiz 2

Are you ready for another batch of Raised in the 80s Trivia? How much of this do you remember (without resorting to Wikipedia?) Answers in three days...

1. Who originally recorded Dancing with Myself before Billy Idol?
   
2. What year is 1982's Blade Runner set in?
   
3. What 1987 film was the first collaboration between the two Coreys? (Haim & Feldman)
   
4. What are the three things to fear in the Fire Swamp?
   
5. What are the Hardy Boys' first names?
   
6. What does Corey Hart wear at night?
   
7. What is the dog's name on Fraggle Rock?
   
8. What are the names of the four ghosts in Pac-Man?
   
9. Which of the four Golden Girls was played by the oldest actress?
10. What was the name of the woman who asked 'Where's the Beef?'
    
11. Who played the three Witches of Eastwick?
12. Who is Strawberry Shortcake's arch-nemesis?
13. What video game featured these opponents: Glass Joe, Bald Bull, and Pizza Pasta?
14. What was the name of the ship in Pigs in Spaaaaace?
    
15. What game does the phrase 'All your base are belong to us' come from?
    

Computer Critters / Rubik / The Friendly Giant / McDLT

The final installment in the Computer Critters series, and perhaps the one I remember best. For years, I used to have that 'cut it down to size: you can edit or revise' bit running through my head. I remember singing it to myself as I worked with an old word processor for the Commodore 64. I don't remember when I've ever been so excited about a word processor.



Do you remember this cartoon? The premise was that an amazing magical Rubik's cube dropped out of a gypsy wagon and into these kids' lives. The idea was that when you solved the cube, he could talk and fly, and do all kinds of magic. (I remember thinking at the time that if you could actually solve a Rubik's cube, you didn't need magic: you were already a certified genius.) Trouble was, that at some point in every episode, someone would drop him, and he'd get scrambled, and the kids would get captured, or into some kind of trouble... Oh, the things these cartoon writers would dream up! Plus, you know it's a good thing when Menudo is singing your theme song!



Non-Canadians might not get this one, but if you grew up in Canada during the 80s, I'm sure you knew the Friendly Giant. It was a very calm, quite sensible children's show, the likes of which we'll never see again. There are a couple of things that I don't get, though. If you came to a castle with the words 'Friendly Giant' burned on the front door, wouldn't you think it was a trap? And if that's how big the chairs were in comparison to the giant, doesn't that make one big-ass chicken? The great thing about this show is that most of it seemed to be improvised, sometimes with unexpected results. I know that rooster dropped an F-bomb in one episode!



The McDLT. Back in the days when McDonald's didn't give a damn about the environment. Not only were they still using styrofoam for their packaging, they were using twice as much, to keep the hot side of your burger hot and the cold side cold. This was supposed to be a great gimmick. What they never tell you is that the McDLT was released because McDonald's employees in the 80s were too lazy to assemble your burgers and wanted to make you do it for them. And do you remember when Jason Alexander had hair?!

Computer Critters 3 / Mr Belvedere / Prostars

Get organized, Dad! With a database management system! Use it to organize your tapes, recipes and flowers, but just try not to think about how a rabbit and a squirrel can give birth to a raccoon...


I should want to shake hands with Mr. Belvedere. I shouldn't want to grab a lock of his hair.
I should want to cook him a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.
I should want to say hi to him nicely, I shouldn't want to keep him in a big jar in my basement... because... his breath would fog up the glass and I wouldn't be able to see him...


'Prostars. It's all about helping kids.' That, and the fact that we don't seem to have saved our money. Someone please help these struggling athletes! Watch their cartoon show!


Or, just buy their cereal!

Raised in the 80s Trivia Quiz 1

How well do you remember the 80s? How much of this sounds familiar? How many of these questions can you answer without Google or Wikipedia? Answers in three days...

1. What was the name of Uncle Jesse's band on Full House?
2. What was the band Europe's biggest hit in the US?
3. What did Frankie say?
4. What's the name of Cap'n Crunch's ship?
5. What 1984 film was the first to be rated PG-13?
6. Before 'Straight Up' or American Idol, what basketball team was Paula Abdul a cheerleader for?
7. In what year was the Koosh ball first released?
8. What was the name of Mr. T's character in Rocky III?
9. Who is the villain in the 1986 film The Three Amigos?
10. What animal has the scientific name Artema Nyos?
11. What game's name is derived from the Swahili word for 'to build'?
12. What was B.A. Baracus's main fear?
13. What fruit is the bonus on the first level of Pac-Man?
14. Who 'built this city on rock 'n' roll'?
15. Which Bruce Springsteen video did Courtney Cox appear in?

Computer Critters 2 / Transformers / My Two Dads / Madballs

'We're the computer generation!' Unfortunately, Raised in the 80s is not necessarily compatible with your special screens that are sensitive to your touch. The light pen might not work either. But feel free to use your mouse.


Special treat! A whole episode of our cartoon of the week. I wound up watching a lot of these original episodes after the fact, because when they first ran, I could never figure out what time Transformers came on. We saw a lot of the second generation Transformers, though. So sit back, cast your minds back to the days before it was a feature-length, live-action movie, and before it was 'Transformers Animated', back when it was just an animated series called 'Transformers'.


I'm not going to comment on how ridiculous the premises for sitcoms were in the 1980s. All I'm going to say is that judges seemed to have an inordinate amount of power back then!


That's another thing to capture our imagination in the 80s: gross things. My brother could be happily entertained for hours at a time drawing Madballs. Gross for one, gross for all!

Raised in the 80s Status updates

(04/12/07 12:14) Jonathan is knee-deep in the regular pre-Christmas hoopla.

(18/04/08 07:10) Jonathan is thinking about Mr. Dressup. As if it wasn't bad enough that he made Casey live in a treehouse, how did the *dog* get up the tree?

(21/04/08 19:21) Jonathan is thinking about the Friendly Giant this time. If that's how big the chairs were, doesn't that make a big-ass rooster?!

(12/08/08 13:41) Jonathan is watching the detectives... no, wait, they're movers... :).

(22/09/08 10:45) Jonathan is revisiting songs of the 'Radical 80s'.

(29/09/08 19:31) Jonathan honestly wishes he could remember what New Coke tasted like.

(15/10/08 20:38) Jonathan is trying to remember the name of that song. You know, the one that goes HMMM hmm hmm... HMMM hmm hmmm... Any ideas? [It was 'Don't Worry, Be Happy']

(12/12/08 18:56) Jonathan did most of it for the Glory of Love. He didn't do it all, but he did do most of it.

(20/12/08 12:18) Jonathan thought they smelled bad on the *outside*!

(10/01/09 23:17) Jonathan says 'Down here, it's *our* time.'

Computer Critters / Gummi Bears / ALF / Frosted Flakes

Computers are coming your way!
For paying bills?
Mothers too?
Sad to say, I know some people who all these years later, still react like Foxworthy...
But it's true! Once upon a time, computers really were everywhere!


Did anyone ever try to sell us a super-sugary 'Gummi-berry juice' that would make us this hyper and bouncy? I remember riding bikes, heading off on some kind of adventure, and singing this theme song at the top of our lungs.


I've met more than my fair share of people who were confused about what Alf was supposed to be. In the very first episode, Willie makes it perfectly clear: 'It's an ALF -- Alien Life Form.' And yet I've known a lot of people who were convinced that he's some kind of a dog. Sad to say, what most people don't remember is that the military catches ALF in the end, and the Tanners all abandon him in a field!


1. Eat this cereal
2. See a giant talking tiger
3. Suddenly, you're good at sports!
4. Try not to think about what they're frosted with
5. Winners don't do drugs

80s-Raised Actor Makes Good

Cheers to Matt Smith, born 1982, who was recently announced the youngest actor to play the Doctor in the 45 years of the BBC's Doctor Who.

Smith, 26, beat out bigger-name actors and the rumour of the first *female* doctor (in the person of Catherine Zeta-Jones) to be named the 11th Doctor.

Those of us raised in the 80s are slowly but surely taking over. Smith takes on the role in October 2010.

Bonkers / Chipmunks / Perfect Strangers / Nintendo

Can you remember eating Bonkers candy? As I recall, they weren't all that different in texture from a Tootsie Roll, but they were fruit flavoured. We saw all these commercials, and assumed that we would have just as much fun eating Bonkers as these folks. I guess it's no more false advertising than the you'll-get-soaked-when-you-chew-our-gum commercials on now. The old woman was pretty annoying, though.



As far as I'm concerned, this is the *only* real manifestation of the 'Rodent Invasion'. Yes, I understand that the Chipmunks had their own life back in the 60s, but that would have to be someone else's blog. It seems like I saw this show every single day of my youth. I remember their first full-length movie. This latest film can't hold a candle. The only *real* chipmunks are cartoons, people!



Regularly, I lament the loss of 'Perfect Strangers.' There was never much of a plot; a lot of stupid slapstick comedy, but it's really nostalgic for me, and it makes me pine for it all the more to think that of all the crappy reruns of everything else they play on cable, they've never rerun Perfect Strangers. Apparently, the first two seasons are out on DVD now. When I can see them, you *know* I'll be doing the dance of joy!



Do you remember the thrill of opening your Nintendo for the first time? We had a SEGA, and it was pretty cool, but we always had the Nintendo-envy. Remember how those systems blew the old Ataris out of the water? But remember when the cartridges started to get a bit dusty and temperamental? Remember blowing down the edge, rather superstitiously, to clear away the dust? Did anyone ever actually *have* that robot that they advertised? What did he do? No one that I knew ever had such a robot. I almost convinced myself that he was just a figment of my imagination until I saw this commercial again.

Wednesday Feature 2

Here comes another quick round-up of commercials, sitcoms and cartoons. Let me know which ones of these you remember...



One day, I promise that I'll have to write a post about our fascination with computers in the 1980s. I remember using a Commodore 64 much later than anyone should ever have used the thing. But whatever else has changed, Apple still makes a damn fine computer. And they still make pretty good, convincing commercials. In 1984, though, they had Ridley Scott directing commercials for them!


I have the feeling that someday, Doogie Howser will warrant a whole post, as well. Funny thing is that when you're a kid watching this, the show loses some of its punch. OK, so he was a teenage doctor. It could happen! When we were kids, we didn't really have very much of a 'plausibility-screener'. A kid could be a doctor, if he was some kind of a genius. Just because we'd never really heard of that in real life, doesn't mean it couldn't happen somewhere! And let's never forget the fact that he always finished every episode with a little computer-diary entry. Some folks have already noted that Doogie Howser was the world's first blogger. Alas, at the time, we didn't know that's what he was doing . How could we? Al Gore hadn't invented the Internet yet. That's how you knew he was a genius. He was easily fifteen to twenty years ahead of his time.



This one was just shameless. My Pet Monster was just a plug to get you to buy the toy. In 1986, someone had the bright idea of marketing a plush doll for boys, with horns and fangs and a pair of big orange handcuffs ("Put 'em on you, and break away too!") I don't really know how well they sold initially. I'm betting parents thought that the doll was too horrific, and would frighten small children. So they came out with a cartoon to popularize the toy. Apparently, the cover story was that when you put the cuffs on him, he would shrink down and look like a stuffed toy. When the cuffs came off, he became a prank-playing, garbage-eating monster. As if you needed another reason to be afraid of the doll!


And these were really weird. Remember 'Time for Timer'? These were a series of Public Service Announcements that used to run during Saturday morning cartoons, reminding us to eat nutritious snacks instead of just junk food. In general, I always wondered what 'Timer' was supposed to be. Was he some kind of a potato? He didn't look like anything I ever wanted to eat. With this particular 'Time for Timer,' I was well into my twenties before I realized he was not saying 'A Hank o' fur, a hunk o' cheese...' Scary.

Wednesday Feature 1

This is the beginning of a Wednesday feature. In the middle of the week, when things are at their worst, look to 'Raised in the 80s' for a quick pick-me-up! Every week we'll take you down memory lane with two commercials, a cartoon theme song, and a live-action sitcom-type opening.


Really, the He-Man commercials were always the best. Look at the way those kids were getting into it, with their sneers and the voices that they did. And parents blamed D&D for warping their kids!



I remember most 80s sitcoms being pretty much like this one: Head of the Class. They weren't particularly good, or particularly funny, but there were only a couple of channels, and they were the only thing on. So you just shut up and watched them. While familiarity does breed contempt, it also breeds contentment, and shows like this were just a kind of 'comfort food.' For the next 30 minutes, you really didn't need to think!



Turbo Teen was living proof in the 80s that you didn't need to have a great plot, or a very strong premise to make a cartoon. All you needed were some secret government experiments, a 'ray,' and you're set! I don't remember much about the show, except I saw it once or twice on Friday nights, and it wasn't very well-received. The guy used to turn into a car when he got hot, and turn back into a person when he got cold. You can see the limitless plot potential there. Does anyone remember what he and his friends used to do? Did they solve mysteries, like every other teenagers?



Sad to say, I actually remember eating this. Candy in a bowl. You just don't see that kind of creativity in the cereal aisle anymore.

Thanks to RetroJunk for the inspiration!